It is in the quiet moments, after the children are in bed, that I hear God's voice the clearest. I am unwise to neglect time alone with the Lord during the day. I could say that I have no time to duck away from the chaos for some time alone with Him. But that is only an excuse, something to ease my mind.
If not for the nights, I would undoubtedly lose my way altogether. I have abandoned all contact with a church body. I have become a recluse since losing my husband and continually find ways to justify my behavior. I know this grieves the Holy Spirit. I feel it deep in my core. It would be so easy to walk away from His chastening, but I would not get very far!
I have discovered the secret of being content. Like Paul, I can be either well-fed or hungry, I have discovered that my life is found in Christ. As long as I adhere to God's Word, the love of Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirits direction, I am safe and secure. His love is all that matters. My life is actually a mess right now and my worries threaten to destroy me at times. I have to place these fears in God's hands, over and over and over again. Not my will but His.
And I WILL find a church!
Plug in. Plug in.
ReplyDeleteYou can't do alone, sister. People get so caught up in trying to find "that" church. There's only one criteria-- do they really follow truth. If it's just the one around the corner, as a single mom with four girls - go for it. Old fashioned hymns or heavy rock-- who cares. It's the meat of the Word and plugging in. Then serve-- with your girls - serve - make it your home. You'll get lifted, I promise.
You can't do this alone.
Wish you had a "follow" button. Will try to follow your postings.